Michigan Warden Reports: Doh!

Found a link (pdf) to a recent summary of reports from Michigan DNR officers. Amazing what people do. Here are a couple of the funniest ones – one about smallmouths, the other about a boat.

But I Measured It!

CO Lacelle Rabon was on patrol along with intern Mark Bolak checking anglers on Belleville Lake. While issuing one subject a ticket for fishing without a license, another subject approached the patrol vehicle to show the COs his bass.

The smallmouth bass were not 14 inches as required. The subject told the COs that he measured the bass with his hand, which is 7 inches, then doubled the length of his hand.

CO Rabon then measured the fish with a tape measure to show the subject the length of the two smallmouth bass. Both were undersized. CO Rabon ran a RSS check on the subject and found he was wanted on a DNR warrant. Enforcement action was taken.

So not only did this guy screw up twice – he kept undersize fish then showed them to the officers – he actually had another DNR warrant?!

Yep, They’re Right Here…

While working with MSP [Michigan State Police?] and U.S. Border Patrol on a multi-jurisdictional marine patrol, CO Dan Walzak stopped a vessel running at high speed well after dark without navigation lights. The owner of the vessel claimed that the lights were working earlier and that the wiring must have shorted out. [There were a ton of excuses like this in the reports.]

The officers made note of the subject’s white mast light with wires hanging out of it and continued with the contact. When CO Walzak asked the subject to produce life preservers for himself and his three passengers, the boater attempted a number of times to open a storage compartment that had a missing pull handle before finally using a tool to pry the compartment open. [Hilarious!]

CO Walzak explained to the boater that in such a condition the safety equipment would not be considered readily accessible and asked the subject to produce a Type IV life preserver.

Opening up another storage compartment that held a battery, the boater attempted to pull the boat cushion out of the compartment several times with increasing force. When the subject finally succeeded in producing the life preserver, he had to pull on it with such force that he tore the outer covering of the cushion. Again, not readily accessible.

To finish, the boater produced a fire extinguisher for the vessel; however, the extinguisher could not be checked for a charge because it lacked a gauge and a couple of other critical parts. Enforcement action was taken.

The officers must love this job – they must bust a gut just about every day….