Fishin’ for Space Garbage

Did you know there’s junk floating around everywhere in space? And I don’t mean stars and asteroids and stuff. I mean space garbage—stuff that we [humans] have littered the galaxy with like “defunct satellites” and “spent rocket stages”. I haven’t seen this space garbage myself, but this article told me it exists, so it must be out there. [Is there any place in the universe we haven’t trashed? Geez.]

So, how exactly do you go about cleaning up space garbage? Well, the Japanese are going to give it a try with a giant fishing net.

I don’t have the fancy learnin’ to explain the process without making my brain hurt, so here’s how the article says it’s [hopefully] going to work:

> “Inspired by a basic fishing net concept, the super-strong space nets have been the subject of extensive research by Nitto Seimo for the past six years and consist of three layered metal threads, each measuring 1mm diameter and intertwined with fibres as thin as human hair.” Sounds fancy… and expensive.

> “During its rubbish collecting journey, the net will become charged with electricity and eventually be drawn back towards earth by magnetic fields – before both the net and its contents will burn upon entering the atmosphere.”

Sounds cool, huh? But wait a minute. If there’s one thing PETA has taught me about hauling around giant nets, it’s that you’re bound to scoop up some bycatch in the process. What happens when the world’s most expensive minnow seine accidentally snags a working satellite or ensnares an alien? It could happen. Seriously. IT COULD!

I say we just send KVD up there in a Nitro-wrapped rocket ship. Do you think the Japanese would counter by launching Kota?

“The Space Race II: Powered by Mercury.”
[…and about a million pounds of rocket fuel]